As I joined my fellow work colleagues for lunch last week, I was unsure about what to eat. The gentleman sitting next to me advised that there was ‘firecracker chicken’ that looked nice, to which I responded ‘oh, I only eat halal meat so I will give it a miss’. The gentleman smiled and continued to eat his jacket potatoe.
The conversation then led to what everyone was up to over the weekend and people talked about getting ‘pissed’ and ‘hammered’ for the weekend. I just said that the only thing I would be drinking was tea as I don’t drink alcohol. This led to a colleague asking me why that was. So as you do, I explained that I was a Muslim and due to my Religious believes, I did not consume alcohol. The guy eating the jacket potato then said oh ‘alcohol is my religion’ and said it’s all ‘fucking bollocks’ referring to religion and belief.
At that moment in time, I just sat there feeling numb. This was a social worker having such strong opinions about others belief. The whole values and ethics of being a social worker is to be anti- discriminatory and anti-oppressive. Yet he had the audacity to sit and speak about religion with such disrespect and hatred.
I mean imagine if I started to have such hateful and aggressive opinion about the fact that his religion is alcohol. No doubt I would be labelled as an extremist or some other bull shit.
Today was the typical Monday. I walked into work and was faced with a crisis that occurred over the weekend. And Monday was over before I knew it.
Nothing to report, islamically another bad day as I didn’t pray.
“My heart is at ease knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me.” – Imam Al-Shafi’i
Quote Of The Day
Today was an awful day. I didn’t fast and I didn’t pray. I’m kind of embarrassed as I type this. But This is the reason why I started this blog. To give myself motivation. To look back and reflect on how the month of Ramadan has been for me. It appears that so far it’s been a roller coaster with many ups and Many downs. It hasn’t been consistent in the slightest and that’s something I want to work towards.
Please if you can, remember me in your prayers. I need them as I’m beginning to get off track and slack.
I won’t lie, keeping up with these daily posts is becoming a tedious task for me. But that’s my problem, I give up. I always give up and then regret it. So this time I will continue. As boring and as basic my blogs may seem, I will continue.
So yesterday was hard. Hard because it was the weekend and I struggle with fasting on a weekend. I love nothing but eating good food on a weekend. Be it a junk binge in the house or trying out different things are restaurants. I continuously thought about yesterday and didn’t even bother myself to offer any prayers. It was a bit of a wasted day if you ask me.
The day however ended nicely as I got to see one of my closest friends who was visiting from London. I miss her. I wish she lived nearby. Any ways, she came to visit her parents and to surprise her father with the Hajj package that she had got for him. It really was a special moment. I love N’s family, they’re so down to earth and simple people. People that win your heart immediately. We laughed, we cried and we all had a great night. It was a good ending to an overall miserable day.
Today was a good day. Not in terms of religion but it was good in term of the worldly ways. Work didn’t stress me out as much as it normally does. But I strongly believe that listening to the Quran before going into work helps. It helps me destress and distracts me from my thoughts. Can anyone else relate?
I feel hungry but not quite ‘hangry’. Nonetheless all I can think of is food! But I feel so lazy, being a lazy person has its own flaws. Even at the time of breaking my fast, I’m so lazy that I don’t cook anything. I eat any left overs that are laying around.
I wish I was more motivated to pray. I just feel so worn out that the thought of doing wuzu and praying feels daunting. I hope I offer at least a couple of prayers today. I miss praying. I miss being close to the Almighty. I miss letting go.
The sehris are becoming harder as the days go on. The mornings are getting crankier. The day is being consumed with headaches and dry throats. But I feel a sense of accomplishment. I feel closer to God in my own ways and I try to pray daily even if that means offering my salaah just the once.
At work people were arranging food for lunch tomorrow. They were ordering all sorts of delicious food making my mouth water. I have a real craving for crisps, I can easily eat a few bags of crisps in one day. And out of everything people talked about, that’s the only thing that got me drooling. It is rather difficult to be around people who don’t fast. I am the only Muslim in the entire building and I am constantly having to say no to people when they offer me a hot drink.
It was a long day of work. Towards the end my mouth was dry and probably smelly. I was tired and my brain was slowing down.
I am not even looking forward to Iftaar today as we have left overs from yesterday. That is what happens when my mums at work.
The cheese cake from the other day ^^
I feel tired and worn out. The lack of sleep is real and as a friend of mine put it veryaccurately ‘I feel like a new mum, a few hours sleep here and there’.
Nothing much to report. The praying has gone down hill. Merely due to exhaustion and headaches.
It’s been a long, exhausting day and I don’t have much to report. I’m feeling better and worn out for a number of reasons. What a roller coaster, eh?
Since starting my new job, today is the first day I am feeling inner peace. Alhamdulillah. I am feeling a sense of contentment that I hadn’t felt in such a long time that I almost began feeling like a walking corpse. Thanks to a blogger named ‘jack the lad’ for reminding me of the truth. The truth that indeed this world is temporary and indeed This is a test after all.
I feel more grateful. Grateful for all that I have and for all that I don’t have. Yesterday I put aside my money for zakaat. Though my intention is there 100%, I haven’t yet been able to collate the full amount. And I still do not know who I will be giving my zakaat to. Any ideas or suggestions are welcome.
It’s 7pm and I just attempted to make chicken kievs and a vanilla cheesecake. Let’s see how they turn out.
I have a habit of checking how many miles I’ve walked on average every day. So after Iftaar, as per usual I looked at my phone and checked. It appears I haven’t walked for more than a mile in a week. Obviously that made me feel like a complete couch potatoe!
So I woke up feeling fat and feeling sorry for myself. Usually for Sehri (that’s the time the fast starts and at the moment it’s around 2.45am) I eat a paratha with some curry. Paratha is basically fried dough, extremely greasy. So I decided not to eat that and ended up having ONE weetabix. So now I am dreading the hunger I may be facing for the rest of the day. But at least I won’t feel like a fat blob!
Actually today has not been too bad, Alhamdulillah. I managed to clean and organise my drawers, read zuhr, listened to mufti menks lectures,read a book and had a nap. Sounds like a productive day to me! 🙂